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GRAND JUNCTION, Colo. — Felipe Soto, 31, doesn't talk specifics about his time growing up, only that it was a hard upbringing.
He doesn't want his mom to feel worse than she already does for mistakes made in the past. She regrets some of the choices she made as she struggled raising kids as a single mom.
Soto's childhood friends came from similar circumstances, only sometimes worse. His friend, Nathan, had an unfortunate male role model — a father who stole, and who eventually killed his wife.
By the time Soto turned 13, “I had somebody there for me. I had something thrown in my environment that was different, better than what was going on,” Soto said.
That somebody was Joe Higgins, who chose to be Soto's senior partner. Higgins is director of Mesa County Partners, a mentoring program that pairs caring adults with kids who need an adult friend or positive role model.
The man and the boy went for hikes and to the movies. They talked, easily.
“Joe was there for me. He was my bud,” Soto said.
“I felt like I won the lottery with Joe.”
Once, early in the relationship, Soto messed up.
His childhood friend, Nathan, had continued to call, and one day Soto joined him and another kid he didn't know. Soto found himself caught up in a theft he said he didn't know was going to happen.
“He was a slick kid, a criminal. His dad was a criminal — that's where he learned it,” Soto said.
Soto was put on probation for 18 months. It was the last time he was ever in trouble.
“In court, I had Joe next to me through the whole process. He truly cared,” Soto said.
From that moment on, Soto said, he was determined not to disappoint Higgins.
“He became someone I didn't want to let down — that's what I needed most,” Soto said.
Soto will never forget another day, a couple of years later, when both Higgins and Nathan called — although Soto wasn't hanging out with Nathan any longer. Soto, naturally, went with Higgins.
That same day Nathan and another teenager burglarized a home in Mack, took $12 and shot and killed a man.
Nathan, along with several other of Soto's former friends, are in prison.
“A lot of my buddies went through juvenile corrections — when they came out they were more criminal-like,” Soto said.
‘LIFE'S GOOD'
Higgins attended parent-teacher conferences with Soto. He called Soto every morning to wake him up for school.
Higgins placed gifts underneath the Christmas tree at the home Soto shared with his mother.
“He taught me to ski — something I still do today,” Soto said. “He put me on the river — something I still do today.
“More importantly, he taught me to think positive.”
Higgins has had seven junior partners during his tenure as director of Mesa County Partners. He remained Soto's senior partner for five years until Soto turned 18.
They've remained friends, and for awhile the two shared a junior partner until Soto became too busy with his full-time job and responsibilities of being a new dad.
Soto said he intends to repay Higgins with the upbringing of his own children.
“Even now, it makes me happy when (Higgins) says he's proud of me,” Soto said.
Soto is well-spoken, seemingly at peace, and obviously grateful.
He lives in Grand Junction, has his own remodeling business, and sometimes does electrical work for another man.
He's been married to his high school sweetheart for 14 years; they have three children ages 13, 9, and 2 — who “entertain themselves with reading,” and do well in school, said Soto, with a touch of pride.
“Life's good for me,” he said.
90 KIDS WAITING FOR A PARTNER
January is National Mentoring Month and Partners needs more senior volunteer partners.
Mentors are asked to make a one-year commitment, of three hours a week, although some people keep the formal relationship beyond that.
Mesa County Partners is “trying to provide another positive role model in a child's life,” Higgins said.
Domestic violence, or substance abuse by one or more parents, and mental health problems are common in families where a partner is needed. Oftentimes, fathers are absent as well, Higgins said.
“Fifty percent of the children have been sexually, or physically abused,” Higgins said.
In 2010, Mesa County Partners supported 122 partnerships.
A spike in referrals during the past two months from the Department of Human Services and School District 51, has increased the waiting list to 90 kids between the ages of 7 and 17 who are waiting for partners. Two-thirds of those children are boys.
“We really need more male volunteers. Boys will sometimes wait three years for a mentor,” Higgins said.
Depending on the needs of the child and the family, a boy's senior partner can sometimes be a woman, he said.
Partnerships can participate in Partners-sponsored monthly activities such as skiing, field trips to museums, or the fire department, river rafting, hikes, or arts and crafts projects at the Partners office, 1169 Colorado Ave.
Volunteers go through background checks and are trained to be sensitive to the child, and also learn how to work with the families. Soto said the program helped his mom also, who, after all, was a product of her environment too.
“It's important for young men (and women) to have a role model, the right role model,” Soto said.
He's making sure his own kids have one in him.
He doesn't want his mom to feel worse than she already does for mistakes made in the past. She regrets some of the choices she made as she struggled raising kids as a single mom.
Soto's childhood friends came from similar circumstances, only sometimes worse. His friend, Nathan, had an unfortunate male role model — a father who stole, and who eventually killed his wife.
By the time Soto turned 13, “I had somebody there for me. I had something thrown in my environment that was different, better than what was going on,” Soto said.
That somebody was Joe Higgins, who chose to be Soto's senior partner. Higgins is director of Mesa County Partners, a mentoring program that pairs caring adults with kids who need an adult friend or positive role model.
The man and the boy went for hikes and to the movies. They talked, easily.
“Joe was there for me. He was my bud,” Soto said.
“I felt like I won the lottery with Joe.”
Once, early in the relationship, Soto messed up.
His childhood friend, Nathan, had continued to call, and one day Soto joined him and another kid he didn't know. Soto found himself caught up in a theft he said he didn't know was going to happen.
“He was a slick kid, a criminal. His dad was a criminal — that's where he learned it,” Soto said.
Soto was put on probation for 18 months. It was the last time he was ever in trouble.
“In court, I had Joe next to me through the whole process. He truly cared,” Soto said.
From that moment on, Soto said, he was determined not to disappoint Higgins.
“He became someone I didn't want to let down — that's what I needed most,” Soto said.
Soto will never forget another day, a couple of years later, when both Higgins and Nathan called — although Soto wasn't hanging out with Nathan any longer. Soto, naturally, went with Higgins.
That same day Nathan and another teenager burglarized a home in Mack, took $12 and shot and killed a man.
Nathan, along with several other of Soto's former friends, are in prison.
“A lot of my buddies went through juvenile corrections — when they came out they were more criminal-like,” Soto said.
‘LIFE'S GOOD'
Higgins attended parent-teacher conferences with Soto. He called Soto every morning to wake him up for school.
Higgins placed gifts underneath the Christmas tree at the home Soto shared with his mother.
“He taught me to ski — something I still do today,” Soto said. “He put me on the river — something I still do today.
“More importantly, he taught me to think positive.”
Higgins has had seven junior partners during his tenure as director of Mesa County Partners. He remained Soto's senior partner for five years until Soto turned 18.
They've remained friends, and for awhile the two shared a junior partner until Soto became too busy with his full-time job and responsibilities of being a new dad.
Soto said he intends to repay Higgins with the upbringing of his own children.
“Even now, it makes me happy when (Higgins) says he's proud of me,” Soto said.
Soto is well-spoken, seemingly at peace, and obviously grateful.
He lives in Grand Junction, has his own remodeling business, and sometimes does electrical work for another man.
He's been married to his high school sweetheart for 14 years; they have three children ages 13, 9, and 2 — who “entertain themselves with reading,” and do well in school, said Soto, with a touch of pride.
“Life's good for me,” he said.
90 KIDS WAITING FOR A PARTNER
January is National Mentoring Month and Partners needs more senior volunteer partners.
Mentors are asked to make a one-year commitment, of three hours a week, although some people keep the formal relationship beyond that.
Mesa County Partners is “trying to provide another positive role model in a child's life,” Higgins said.
Domestic violence, or substance abuse by one or more parents, and mental health problems are common in families where a partner is needed. Oftentimes, fathers are absent as well, Higgins said.
“Fifty percent of the children have been sexually, or physically abused,” Higgins said.
In 2010, Mesa County Partners supported 122 partnerships.
A spike in referrals during the past two months from the Department of Human Services and School District 51, has increased the waiting list to 90 kids between the ages of 7 and 17 who are waiting for partners. Two-thirds of those children are boys.
“We really need more male volunteers. Boys will sometimes wait three years for a mentor,” Higgins said.
Depending on the needs of the child and the family, a boy's senior partner can sometimes be a woman, he said.
Partnerships can participate in Partners-sponsored monthly activities such as skiing, field trips to museums, or the fire department, river rafting, hikes, or arts and crafts projects at the Partners office, 1169 Colorado Ave.
Volunteers go through background checks and are trained to be sensitive to the child, and also learn how to work with the families. Soto said the program helped his mom also, who, after all, was a product of her environment too.
“It's important for young men (and women) to have a role model, the right role model,” Soto said.
He's making sure his own kids have one in him.
