Site search
sponsored by
News
ENLARGE
Ralph Henry
Every generation in every town has its local, flavorful town characters. They're people that have gone down that road less taken.
I'm going to speak for my generation when I say that Ralph Henry was our most infamous character. Relentlessly teased and bullied by nearly everyone, Ralph always seemed relatively harmless to me. But what would I know. I never got that close. I don't think many people did. He didn't bathe that often, and who knew what he had under that old overcoat.
My girlfriends and I were bullies. I believe it was Glenna Hetzel and me. Our parents all worked so we had too much time on our hands after school while attending Grand Junction Junior High. We were awful. I deserve any karma that comes my way for that silly behavior.
We'd call Ralph's house. He lived with his mother, Alice Henry, in a small house where Mesa View Retirement sits now; she was listed in the phonebook. Phone pranking Ralph probably wasn't an original idea on our part but we thought we were pretty cute. His mother would always answer and we'd ask to talk to Ralph. She'd never let us and I think she even cussed us out some but we just giggled. Mean, mean Girls.
My nephew, Dr. Braden Shafer, remembers him like this: “We used to stand at the fence at Columbine Elementary and talk to him. He looked like a disheveled Albert Einstein in a trench coat. How many schools would let that happen now?! Rumor had it that he carried around $10-15K in cash with him. He was a legend on the playground.”
Ralph had his route. He'd hang out in front of the old Waddell's Grocery Store on North Seventh Street by St. Mary's Hospital or in front of Mesa Drug on Main Street. From the photo accompanying this article, he must have hung out a Mesa College. He always had his old Firestone bike in tow, either riding or pushing it. Indeed, he'd be a great subject for a Legend's Sculpture.
And how about Louisa the Bag Lady who wore about 14 layers of clothing? When I lived in Montrose in the late '70s and early '80s she was that town's local character. I moved to Junction and she followed me. I'm still a little suspect of her motives. Louisa was a bag lady in every sense of the word. You'd see her all over, Dumpster diving and pushing her shopping cart. I guess she got all those layers of clothing when she ran out of room in her bags and just put the clothes on.
One of my favorite current characters is the Bird Man. He appears to take good care of himself and the birds. It's his job to see that they are routinely fed all over the downtown area and he takes his job seriously. I for one appreciate his good works. He could use some bird seed donations if you see fit to get him some. It's for the birds.
Remember those two old guys who used to take up watch on the corner of F and 28 roads? They'd park their bikes, sit in their folding chairs, brought from home, and watch the traffic. They wore hats with their names on them and always flannel shirts. Were they brothers? I haven't seen either of them for about a year.
When I was in high school, we had a character that lived out in Fruitvale, down a long ditch bank. Alicia Darling was her name and she was a fortune teller. I went with my mother, my Aunt Dee Dee, sister Becky and Grandma Barmore one time. You weren't supposed to get out of your car. Just pull in to the driveway and she'd come out to the car and read the hand that you stuck out the window. Then she'd stick her hand out.
She had sister Becky's phone number and while she was living in her retirement home, Ratekin Towers, Becky took her to City Market on North Avenue (where American Furniture is now) a couple of times. Dangdest thing, she'd always predict the location of an empty parking spot.
My friend, Kathy Kaufman, and I went out to see her one time when we were probably supposed to be doing homework. She told me that I didn't have to always say what I meant or wanted. I could just use my expressive eyes. Ask my kids, I do have an evil eye. The other one is the “come onna my house” eye. She also told me how many kids I'd have but I was too young to care about that. I don't know what she told Kathy but she did that darndest thing while leaning up against the car, she must have had to “go” real bad so she just went, right then and there, in the driveway. I don't think any psychic could see that one coming.
And boys? Do you remember Martha Belle?
Speedo Man kept everyone gawking for several years. Now I hear he's exercising his First Amendment in Oregon. He raised a nice family and has some great kids…he just had a little more character than Grand Junction knew what to do with, residents anyway, law enforcement knew exactly what to do.
Characters come and go. There are many of our favorites that I haven't mentioned but I only get so much room to write, so send me your stories. I save them all in case there is a second installment of any of our stories. Thanks for sharing. PMangnall@gjfreepress.com or 683-5643.
I'm going to speak for my generation when I say that Ralph Henry was our most infamous character. Relentlessly teased and bullied by nearly everyone, Ralph always seemed relatively harmless to me. But what would I know. I never got that close. I don't think many people did. He didn't bathe that often, and who knew what he had under that old overcoat.
My girlfriends and I were bullies. I believe it was Glenna Hetzel and me. Our parents all worked so we had too much time on our hands after school while attending Grand Junction Junior High. We were awful. I deserve any karma that comes my way for that silly behavior.
We'd call Ralph's house. He lived with his mother, Alice Henry, in a small house where Mesa View Retirement sits now; she was listed in the phonebook. Phone pranking Ralph probably wasn't an original idea on our part but we thought we were pretty cute. His mother would always answer and we'd ask to talk to Ralph. She'd never let us and I think she even cussed us out some but we just giggled. Mean, mean Girls.
My nephew, Dr. Braden Shafer, remembers him like this: “We used to stand at the fence at Columbine Elementary and talk to him. He looked like a disheveled Albert Einstein in a trench coat. How many schools would let that happen now?! Rumor had it that he carried around $10-15K in cash with him. He was a legend on the playground.”
Ralph had his route. He'd hang out in front of the old Waddell's Grocery Store on North Seventh Street by St. Mary's Hospital or in front of Mesa Drug on Main Street. From the photo accompanying this article, he must have hung out a Mesa College. He always had his old Firestone bike in tow, either riding or pushing it. Indeed, he'd be a great subject for a Legend's Sculpture.
And how about Louisa the Bag Lady who wore about 14 layers of clothing? When I lived in Montrose in the late '70s and early '80s she was that town's local character. I moved to Junction and she followed me. I'm still a little suspect of her motives. Louisa was a bag lady in every sense of the word. You'd see her all over, Dumpster diving and pushing her shopping cart. I guess she got all those layers of clothing when she ran out of room in her bags and just put the clothes on.
One of my favorite current characters is the Bird Man. He appears to take good care of himself and the birds. It's his job to see that they are routinely fed all over the downtown area and he takes his job seriously. I for one appreciate his good works. He could use some bird seed donations if you see fit to get him some. It's for the birds.
Remember those two old guys who used to take up watch on the corner of F and 28 roads? They'd park their bikes, sit in their folding chairs, brought from home, and watch the traffic. They wore hats with their names on them and always flannel shirts. Were they brothers? I haven't seen either of them for about a year.
When I was in high school, we had a character that lived out in Fruitvale, down a long ditch bank. Alicia Darling was her name and she was a fortune teller. I went with my mother, my Aunt Dee Dee, sister Becky and Grandma Barmore one time. You weren't supposed to get out of your car. Just pull in to the driveway and she'd come out to the car and read the hand that you stuck out the window. Then she'd stick her hand out.
She had sister Becky's phone number and while she was living in her retirement home, Ratekin Towers, Becky took her to City Market on North Avenue (where American Furniture is now) a couple of times. Dangdest thing, she'd always predict the location of an empty parking spot.
My friend, Kathy Kaufman, and I went out to see her one time when we were probably supposed to be doing homework. She told me that I didn't have to always say what I meant or wanted. I could just use my expressive eyes. Ask my kids, I do have an evil eye. The other one is the “come onna my house” eye. She also told me how many kids I'd have but I was too young to care about that. I don't know what she told Kathy but she did that darndest thing while leaning up against the car, she must have had to “go” real bad so she just went, right then and there, in the driveway. I don't think any psychic could see that one coming.
And boys? Do you remember Martha Belle?
Speedo Man kept everyone gawking for several years. Now I hear he's exercising his First Amendment in Oregon. He raised a nice family and has some great kids…he just had a little more character than Grand Junction knew what to do with, residents anyway, law enforcement knew exactly what to do.
Characters come and go. There are many of our favorites that I haven't mentioned but I only get so much room to write, so send me your stories. I save them all in case there is a second installment of any of our stories. Thanks for sharing. PMangnall@gjfreepress.com or 683-5643.
